The Why and What of coaching?
I often get asked what is coaching to which I reply, helping people make a change or move forward. But then what does that actually mean and in what context can coaching help?
There may be times of our lives when we have a challenge or problem that we want to move forward with. Situations where we have a goal in mind, such as
- making a decision e.g. where to next on career path
- getting back in control, understanding what’s important to us and what we want to do
- freeing ourselves from being stuck and creating an action plan for change
- supporting our own personal development
Coaching can be described as two people (coach and client) working together to support the goals that are set by the client. In essence, deciding on what we (the client) wants and figuring out the how.
Here’s one way of looking at coaching. I love sport and playing, though as i get older the mind might still be willing but the body says no. That’s another story but for now… let’s stick to golf, a game I do play. One go to book of mine to help me with my golf is by Timothy Gallwey, ‘The Inner Game of Golf’. By the way, he’s written other books along a similar theme, Inner Game of Tennis, Work, Skiing etc.
There is a formula Mr Gallwey uses, [My] Performance = [My] Potential less [My] Interference. What does this mean? So much of what I achieve (my performance), whether in my golf game (or work or personal life) is affected by not what I cannot do but what I stop myself from doing, consciously or unconsciously (interference). My performance is limited by myself, in other words I “get in my own way”. For example, thinking about how I played that last golf hole / shot and the meaning I put to it stops me from preparing for my next shot. Coaching is about reducing or removing that interference and creating meaning and connection with what is possible (potential).
Another way to think about coaching is in terms of awareness and responsibility. If I was being coached then by gaining greater insight and understanding into what I am thinking or doing, I can then make an informed choice about what I do. In other words, I take ownership and assume responsibility for the choices I make and actions I take. A coach’s role is to observe, support and challenge me in what I want to achieve.
How does coaching, that looks forward and where the client takes ownership and assumes responsibility, compare to other approaches. A simplistic view would be “what’s happened and how can we heal you” [therapy]; “I’ve been there done that, here’s the benefit of my experience” [mentoring]; “I need you to do this by then” [managing] and “Here’s the benefit of my expertise” [consultant].
Each has a time and place depending on our situation and we may find ourselves the beneficiary of each of these approaches as we live our lives. Including coaching.
As well as being a coach, I love being coached (of course I would say that wouldn’t I but…) and I know that what I’m doing is giving myself every opportunity to be the best I can be.